New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s resolutions aren’t a fad—they have endured for about 4000 years. The Babylonians were among the first civilizations to celebrate the start of a new year, with life wishes, festivals and rituals.  Romans also celebrated the New Year with future desires. Diaries from early America reveal individuals pledging to overcome sin or abstain from alcohol. They frequently used phrases like “I resolve myself” or “I’m resolved to do something,”

I came across some interesting resolutions for the coming year. See if any of these look familiar.

Discard my old socks and eat more cheese. This person seemed to be very focused.

Tell others what they should resolve to do this year. I have an old school chum who would have no problem telling you what you should resolve.

Walk into Costco and only buy the thing I came for.  Yeah, good luck with that. We went into Costco two Days after Christmas to return some clothing and ended up buying about $300 worth of items.

Resolve to be able to tell the difference between being bored and being hungry. Does that ring a bell?

Procrastinate whenever you can. Maybe you could start next week.

Last year I resolved to fix the rotating microwave plate so it actually rotates. I guess I will do that sometime next year. Ha, ha.

Become a champion mashed potato sculptor. That’s one I wouldn’t have thought of.

Learn to communicate with squirrels. Ok, that’s just a little bit weird, but maybe you could learn to flick your tail. Did I just say that?

Learn how to write Haiku poems. The term haiku is used to describe all poems that use the three-line 17-syllable structure. I think that’s too much work. And besides, I don’t do poetry anyway.

Become a professional cloud watcher. I didn’t know you had to be a professional to watch clouds. I did that as a kid without a license.

Develop a secret handshake. The handshake would be a unique way to greet your friends and family. However, that would probably alienate you from friends and family.

Remember people's astrology signs. Are we really interested in people’s zodiac characteristics? I think you’d have to be born under the sign of the clown to do that.

Learn to yodel in Cantonese, Farsi, Croatian and maybe Andorran. Could that even be done? I think I would pay to hear that.

Start a collection of the world's smallest forks.  I guess that is better than collecting tiny porcelain elephants like my Mom did. When she passed on, we of course found a secure place for them. The place we found is called “Good Will”. They will be very safe there.

Invent a new holiday for your pet. Ok, hold on to your hats. I found some pet holidays on the internet. In the UK they have a “National Twin with Your Dog Day” on Dec 1st. Then I found a National Mutt Day on July 31. And then, of course, there is National Labrador Retriever Day on Jan 8. I could go on through the year, but then that would be another article.

Order every drink on the Starbucks Menu. I hope that’s not all at once.

Learn an impression of a favorite celebrity. For me, that would be Patrick Stewart as the Starship Enterprise captain Jean-Luc Picard.

I’m sure your resolution will be much more practical than the ones I found. Have a joyous 2025 and stay safe.