Some Observations of Life

I saw a young person with a safety pin through their nose. I didn’t know that your nose could fall off.

The one thing about old age is that you don’t get a chance to practice for it.

I’ve noticed that when someone uses their driver’s license to buy liquor, aren’t they buying something that impairs their ability to drive? Ironical isn’t it?

Why are there no Ziploc bags for cereal in a box?

 I have found that life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time it’s in your hand.”

People will talk about you no matter what you do, so you may just as well do whatever makes you happy.”

You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy pizza. They are kind of the same thing.

I’ve found that sometimes you need motivations, and then sometimes you just need carbs.

There are times you deserve the love that you keep trying to give everyone else.

Why do baby clothes have pockets?

The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.

Fire trucks are actually water trucks

Have you ever heard of a haunted senior care facility? Neither have I.

Isn’t a hot dog really just a Taco?

There are two E’s in bee, but they’re both silent.

People who take care of chickens are chicken tenders. Huh?

Did you know that 'Misspelled' is one of the ten hardest words to spell?

I used to know a gal named Hazel, but she had brown eyes.

People are goanna stare at you, so you might as well make it worth their while.

The name “Patrick” is really two names combined into one.

Did you know that the word "Verb" is actually a noun?

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

Snakes are literally just heads with tails. Right?

The antonym of synonym is antonym. Who would have guessed?

Isn’t a block of cheese just a loaf of milk?

And finally:

Once when I walked out of a Vons Market, a signature gatherer asked the guy in front of me to sign a sheet to save the world. The guy said, “I’m sorry, I don’t live around here”.

I hope you liked this collection of silliness.

Enjoy the rest of your day.